She looks so big but she’s still so little!

It is commonly said that children grow up far too quick. Every time we visit our local supermarket there is inevitably a batty old lady who gushes over Frances and subsequently inquires as to what age she is. This is almost always followed by “oh, they grow so fast don’t they!?”

Life and time seemed so slow before Frances joined us. I never really felt old or young, but just hanging in perpetual limbo. The nine months of gestation seemed to drag on forever. The anticipation and curiosity of who this person was drove me nuts. When she came and she was so tiny, time again seemed to lag. Our days were filled with nestling, sleeping and eating. I kept thinking when is this little lass going to do something. Then one day, it was as if a switch was flicked on and she became this bright eyed little girl filled with wonderment and I looked at her and said to myself where did my little baby go?! Everyday since then has passed like the wink of my eye. Everyday she amazes me with something new, a new look or a new skill. Everyday filled with new things is another day farther away from my tiny little baby. I can’t say I really miss the new baby experience. It was really hard and quite frankly I am amazed that I made it through that whole stage of our lives. But sometimes I catch myself thinking of how wonderful it felt to cradle her little body as I held her close and cuddled her to sleep.

She is getting so big. I look at her stretched out in slumber and I can’t believe the length she has grown to be. On Saturday, so many of our market friends commented on her growth for the first time. “She’s growing and you’re shrinking!” one person said. So now I understand what people mean when they say kids grow so fast!!

This past weekend my oldest nephew turned six. Six! Can you believe it? I can’t! I remember receiving the phone call from my sister just after he was born excitedly finding out all the important details. I remember when they came to visit just a few weeks later. It was the middle of August and quite warm. I remember sitting in the Adirondack chairs out in my parents garden. Little Nathaniel dressed in a diaper and undershirt sprawled contently across my sisters chest. She was so calm and relaxed in her new roll as a mother. I was in total awe! On Saturday I called Nathaniel to wish him a happy birthday and I have to say, I had the best conversation that I have ever had with him! Usually when I talk to him it is on speaker phone, he and his brother are so wound up and silly that I’m lucky if I can make out a whole sentence. This time it was just he and I conversing and there was no trace of his mothers voice in the back ground saying ” tell her what you got for your birthday”. All on his own he very eloquently explained a few of his favorite presents. Then he proceeded to tell me how he would be celebrating his special day. I am sure he was asked the same questions many times before our conversation, but he still answered them for me with so much enthusiasm! After we talked about him for a few minutes he changed the subject and asked how I was. Following my reply of ” I’m great, thanks for asking”, he proceeded to inquire about Frances and what she was up to! What a thoughtful young chap! His mom and dad should be so proud of the person they have helped him become! I was so delighted to have experienced this, it still makes me smile! Next time it will be his younger brother Andrew!

Hear is Nathaniel with our then kitten Nori (I hope his mom doesn’t mind me adding his picture)

It seems strange to think of Frances turning six. I wonder what she will be like. For now I will keep enjoying her littleness and cherish every moment I cradle her close to me as she nurses herself to sleep and becomes my tiny baby again.


2 responses to “She looks so big but she’s still so little!

  1. Auntie Sayer

    Wow! What a powerful post. I am BAWLING my eyes out!

    I knew the last baby photo wasn’t Franny because Nori was a kitten. Then I thought – boy, that little person looks very familiar… but, it’s been so long I had to think about who it was!

    You know how Mom says that you and I will always be here babies? Well, even though Nathaniel is a six year old boy and full of beans, he is still my baby. I still cuddle with him at night before he goes to bed.

  2. I bet he told you all about his cool Speed Racer shirt – right? Right?

    Yes, Nathaniel is a good conversationalist. It’s very impressive that he asked about you and Frances. I bet he’s very excited to see you both.

    I think the key to motherhood is really being there, in the present, as they are. Don’t think too much about the future. Don’t think too much about the past – except occasionally as you’re going through photos. Just be with them now – and time will move at a normal, happy pace.

    Love the photos!

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