I’m sure other mothers will agree when I say there is nothing more exciting then celebrating your child’s birthday. I love my birthday and I am always so happy when my day comes, but this past weekend celebrating Franny’s first birthday was ten times better! Watching her get all excited about the things we picked out for her when she tore the paper off her parcels. Watching her get very excited about the balloons and decorations. Seeing what other people picked out for her and being surprised myself. Then there’s the cake, the sweet surgery cake! This year it was really all about the firsts and that in its self made it exciting.
So, after cake crumbs settled and the guests cleared out it was time to settle back into the normal daily routine. Put Frances down for a nap (an unsuccessful attempt after the cake!) and face the messy kitchen to throw dinner together. I couldn’t help but think did everyone have a good time. Was this a good first birthday for Frances. Did I make it special enough for her, could I have made it more special. Should I have invited the neighbors. I question everything after the fact and worry that I could have done things better. I know this is silly, Franny had such a fun time and she probably won’t remember much from this special day but I just want to give her the moon. Every mother wants this for her child I’m sure.
The weather yesterday and today is exactly as it was the day we brought Frances home from the hospital. Overcast with a real fall chill in the air. It’s the kind of chill that makes you nudge the heat up a tad. I remember being so tired that day and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and snuggle our new little sweetie up and sleep. Maybe it’s the post birthday blues, maybe it’s the weather, but I just can’t shake the feeling I had last year at this time when all the excitement of giving birth to this new person was dying down and real life was settling in.
On the up side, we have Christmas to look forward to. Not THE first Christmas, but the first Christmas that Frances will know how to open presents and play with new treasures!