Reconnection.

sleep11
If you subscribe to the What To Expect books or obey your elders, you might be lead to believe it is wrong to snuggle your child gently down into slumber. You are spoiling them and allowing  them to have the upper hand. Some people might employ the cry it out method as a baby sleep trainer. Baby sleeps, mommy sleeps, everyone is happy (so they say). While I hold no ill feeling towards parents who choose this approach, it has felt very wrong and unnatural for us.

Everyday Frances grows, and everyday her need for me lessens. She goes about her busy life learning and exploring all the while becoming more confident and independent. It is totally amazing and mind blowing for me to watch! However the physical contact we shared when she was a baby has been greatly reduced. I savor it when I can get it and feel lucky to have a sweet girl who likes to give “big hugs”.

I appreciate the importance of making connections, for Frances and I it comes at nap time. Our daily ritual brings us together to converse, relax, snuggle and for her sleep. Before I transfer her safe and sound into her bed, I take in all of her sweetness and marvel at the complexity of life. It feels good to hold my child close as she drifts into sleep and we feel an attachment to one another.

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4 responses to “Reconnection.

  1. Auntie Sayer

    My two favorite times of day:
    1. Nap time with Mr. A (reading books then snuggling for “6 minutes, Mama!”… after which I precede to fall asleep.)
    2. Bedtime with the boys (reading books then snuggling -again- for 6 minutes with each boy…and I inevitably fall asleep with one of them!)
    Mr. N. knows the trick to having me fall asleep with him… play with my hair. Works EVERY time!
    I know the day is coming soon when big brother won’t want me to sleep with him. So, I’m going to cherish EVERY moment I can!

  2. Auntie Sayer

    P.S. I recognize that blanket on Ms. F…. brings back some memories….

    P.P.S. LOVE the photos of Ms. F. & Daddy “Lookin”… and the pink outfit. CUTE!

  3. This is a funny post to me b/c of what it reminds me of. I once got a book called the “No Cry Sleep Solution” and it basically stated that you should do everything your baby wanted when they wanted it. It was awful!

    I fully appreciate your approach to your daughter because it is right for you too. But this book was like, “your needs aren’t important!”
    Eek. Slavery.

    I used to rock Cam to sleep in my arms for nap time. We’d listen to a CD called Mediterranean Lullabye and by the 4th song he was usually out. Then we’d lie down together in my bed and sleep. It was a very sweet time.

    But at night I was always hard core. He went in the crib and sure, for the first 2-3 nights he cried. But then he learned to fall asleep on his own and to this day, he’s an excellent sleeper. He doesn’t get out of bed endlessly. He enjoys bedtime. And he sleeps through the night no problem.

    As with all things, if you can find what works for you – then it is right for you.

    I’m sure someone out there enjoyed the No Cry Sleep Solution. Just not me. 🙂

  4. Sara, you are absolutely right, you have to take it when you can get it. I don’t want to look back in 20 years and wish I had spent more of those sweet cuddly moments with F. I almost always fall asleep with her every night. Josh laughs at me when I emerge from upstairs all bleery eyed.

    I love that blanket!!

    Julie, it’s funny to here you say that about the book. I got really excited when I came across it in the library, I was convinced it would solve every single sleep issue we were dealing with at the time. I poured through it expecting to find the answers I was seeking on every page. Ya, no! I was surprisingly disappointed.

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