Monthly Archives: June 2010

Singin’ along

We listened to Lucinda Williams today for the first time in a long while. I forgot just how much I enjoy her and how much music can make the day better. Along with clean clothes and coffee. Here she is singing with Willie Nelson and again with Emmylou Harris, who I also hold a fondness for.


Hello World!

Oliver Phineas, born April 15th at 10:24 am.

I have finally emerged from the fog and feeling a tad more normal, it’s time to brave the world once more. Somehow I had the false impression that life with a second child would be easier, that all babies were the same, and just because I had been through and done it all before, I would know exactly what I was doing again. Boy was I wrong! These last seven weeks have been tough, hellish even, a real roller coaster ride. But come on, look at that little face, I think we’re going to be alright.

The labor part was easy, four hours from start to finish. So fast I almost feel ripped off. No medical intervention and no drugs, just the way I had wished for. 6:30 my water broke, got to the hospital around 8, rode through contractions without much notice while I smiled and rubbed my tummy. Shortly after 10, and not yet in a delivery room, I laid down and got up quickly with intense pain and declared it was time, I needed to push and I was going to push. A wave of medical personnel rushed into the room which was comparable in size to a bathroom and my dear husband shooed them all out. With our midwife and a nurse I pushed this little guy right out and into our world. I did it, I really did it! Six pounds, five ounces.

Having breastfed my first child with an ease that came so naturally to both of us, I just assumed it would be the same with the second. Breastfeeding is something I have been committed to and as far as I was concerned it was the only way to feed a baby. Sadly, after five weeks of persistent trying and toe curling pain it just wasn’t happening. It sucks, it totally sucks! I miss that closeness and wonderful feeling breastfeeding creates. Not to mention the pain in the ass of pumping and bottle feeding. Then there is the dreaded F word and the stigma attached to it, especially in the natural parenting world. When I came to find out at our five week check up that my little guy hadn’t gained any weight in two weeks, his constant crying drove me over the edge to the necessary evil. And have you ever stood in the grocery store looking at the wall of formula? Where does one begin, it’s all evil stuff. It has been tough and I feel very sad about this whole arrangement, but it is what it is and I now have a very happy, content sweet little boy who is eating well and gaining weight just as he should.

Today we had our last midwife appointment and it makes me a bit sad. The care and support I received with these phenomenal women was far beyond my expectations. I can’t say enough good things about the whole experience, I only wish all health care could be this fantastic. I almost want to have another child just to do it all over again! No, two is enough! The hour long prenatal meetings were so relaxing and informative, everything was always explained and discussed  in an easy non medical way and I had no apprehension about going through labor again. But it was really the postnatal care that made the world of difference. Having someone come to our house to check up on us, especially with my unusually high blood pressure, was great, and I don’t know how I would have coped with the breastfeeding problems had I not had someone to call on as much as I did. I was so lucky to have a midwife!

Now I guess we get on with it and try to live through every hard moment of every hard day and enjoy the easy times as much as we can!